Here, fellow author Ulff Lehmann and I try to out-grimdark each other, one sentence at a time -- his are in plain font, mine, italicized. 

Matthew knew from experience that waking up with a hangover never was fun, even less so if one woke up hungover surrounded by a bunch eviscerated corpse.

But that was how they celebrated a man’s coming of age amongst the Norfii; that, and devouring a lion fetus drenched in wine.

That last bite of lion must have been bad, he decided.

As he got to his feet, he realized they were covered in boots made of human flesh – at least he’d gotten some use out of those corpses.

Kicking in his new treads by kicking the flopping entrails out of his way, he strode out of the cave.

It was night, always and everlastingly, fucking night.

Unless it wasn't fucking night, which boiled down to some 5 days in a moon.

Well, Matthew had work to do, grim work.

Having new boots was but one of the perks of becoming an adult in the eyes of the elders.

And, speaking of eyes, he had a jar full at home that were only missing a blue pair.

Blue eyes were rare, a bitch to find, and people kept them for both sentimental value and working magic -- he just wanted his collection complete.

Where to find, them, though?

Down south and west, the day-dwellers were said to have blue eyes, but they were sex maniacs, so finding virgin blue eyes was a bitch.

Coincidentally, his own mother was also a bitch, but she didn't have blue eyes.

In addition, father did not like mutilating family members, unless he did it -- selfish bastard.

Fortunately, Matthew knew of an orphanage nearby that might have an blue-eyed virgin or two.

The moon hung low on its gallows, damn fucker deserved no less.

Making his way to the orphanage, Matthew passed an ancient pair of vagabonds rutting in the street like rats; well, new vagabonds had to come from somewhere, didn't they?

It was only when he had passed them, he noticed the audience of real rats preparing what looked like score cards.

He considered stomping the life out of the little vermin, but didn't want to scuff his new flesh boots.
Still, he decided he'd settle the score with these rats, eventually.

He was getting distracted; eyes on the prize, Matthew, eyes on the prize!

In this case the prize was eyes, but eyes on the eyes sounded rather silly, even without saying it out loud.

Soon, he spied the orphanage and began to fish the ocular trauma device -- his spork -- out of his pocket.

His people had a few traditions, eviscerated corpses when one came of age, virgins’ scalps on a bad hair day, and a spork on the day they were born -- they wore the spork until receiving the first set of baby teeth on a necklace, then it went into the pocket.

So, the spork wasn't the problem, it was the damned pocket, which, like the pockets of all other Norfii, was magically linked to the those of everyone else in the community, making it fiendishly hard to find what one was looking for, but also to resist the temptation of examining others' possessions, like the dried kitten he was currently fondling.

Pocket communication was rather muffled, and in a night such as this, slipping out of one's pants left one rather dangling in the wind, so he continued to fish around.

Suddenly, something -- or someone -- grabbed his arm, and he felt a violent tug, yanking him into his own pocket, through a universe of unspeakable objects and trash out back out into the semi-fetid air of...where, exactly?

The light shining at him made identification of the place difficult-- a moment later, as his eyes adjusted, he realized the glaring blaze was nothing more than a big candle, flickering off a sword's polished blade.

In a panic, all he could think to do was blurt out, "I didn't do it!"

"Do what?" a voice said, and then added, "Stupid bag of holding, got cross-wired again with the little folk."

Squinting into the gloom, Matthew realized that he was one of the "little folk" in question, as the figure in front of him was easily twice his size.

Twice his size, and that was just the leg... he tilted his head back and saw somewhere in the distance, about as high as his lord's keep walls, the head of... the fucking big folk.

For some odd reason, all Matthew could think was that he was smaller than this giant's penis.
​
Now he thought about how it was to be fucking a big folk woman.

He'd get even more lost in her than he had in that so-called "bag-of-holding."

Maybe not all was lost, he had heard about this tale where one would have to squeeze eyes real hard and tap one's heels and say "Get me the fuck out of here" magic would take one back home, only he had to sacrifice all the eyes in his IBag.

With hope in whatever passed for his heart, he performed said ritual, only to discover that "home" was his mother's house, and he was a pimply, red-headed fat kid with a mouth full of dental hardware.

And a bed which harbored way too many BDSM magazines underneath the mattress.

​Q. How do you feel modern fantasy (by which I mean fantasy written today) jibes with the "Me, Too" movement, if at all, as women are so often portrayed as the objects of action instead of the actors themselves?
 
A: I think the objectification and infantilization of women is something one continues to see throughout literature and other forms of media. The damsel and the shrew are still the most prevalent female archetypes one sees, followed by the female warrior. However, I also think a sea change has been underway for quite a few years, and authors have more awareness that giving their female characters agency is a goal of good writing.
 
What you don't see often, at least in my readings, are female characters who hold positions of power in a routine way. Female leaders (political, military, economic, etc.) are still presented to readers as unusual or special.
 
Q: Can you point out a few authors/books who ARE doing this well?
 
A: I spent some time thinking about an answer to this question. Two authors who receive a lot of flak for their treatment of female characters, but who I think do a good job presenting women:  are GRR Martin and Peter V. Brett. Both include episodes of sexual violence against women (and boys/men) in their work, and both have been criticized for these scenes being gratuitous or sensational and not having any real bearing on the plot or character development. I disagree, and I think Danerys being married to Drogo at 13 (in the book) and having to figure out how to not only survive as a child bride in an arranged marriage to a violent and callous warrior but to thrive and triumph in it, was essential to her development as a woman who can turn every situation to her advantage. Meanwhile, because Brett's work includes polygamous relationships (as well as incest and sexual assault), he's been accused of writing male fantasies. I disagree because his female characters consistently demonstrate they have agency within the constraints of the society they live in. [And, I'll have to finish this later because we're going somewhere.]
 
Q: Haven't read any Brett, but your GRRM answer is interesting. Yes, he is often accused of even hating women, but, as you say, Danerys is triumphant. I do wonder, though, because while I know many women who read GRRM, I've never heard one say, "The sex scenes are so awesome." Don't know that I've ever heard a man say that, either. I mean, are they even necessary?
 
A: Regarding whether the sex scenes are awesome in Martin, I'd ask, do they need to be? In real life, sex in a committed relationship is often perfunctory. It can be nice, but it isn't mind blowing every time. It's not necessarily even romantic. In ASOIAF, the only loving relationship between equal partners in the book is between Ned and Catelyn, and there is a really nice, realistic (to me) scene from Catelyn's POV in the beginning of the first book, which comes in right after they've finished. After that, almost every other sexual encounter is coercive, perverse, or otherwise taboo, which I imagine Martin does deliberately, to show the rottenness of Westeros. One exception is Jon and Ygritte, whose lovemaking was sweet and innocent--but then their relationship, like so many others, is founded on lies, so it's corrupt at its core too. Regarding the gratuity of the sex in Martin’s work, I also think people tend to conflate the sometimes absurdly gratuitous sex in the HBO TV series with Martin’s books. There isn’t anywhere near as much sex in the books as appears on the TV show. There are no brothel scenes with Peter watching his employees “practice” in the book. Tyrion and Shae have a lot of sex in the books, but that’s important to show how Shae hoodwinks Tyrion into falling for her so utterly. And most of the sex scenes between other characters are not explicit—there’s a lot more foreplay and morning after material than there are outright descriptions of the act.
 
 
So, in my view, the sex doesn't have to be "great." Martin isn't writing porn, he's writing fantasy about the struggle for power and resources between different political entities and different species. The sex scenes advance the plot and/or develop characters, and I don't find them gratuitous. In fact, if every sex scene was "hot," I might be more inclined to feel they were there for the sake of sensationalism rather than plot advancement.
 
 
I wanted to finish answering your original question, which was to name some authors who do a "good job" presenting female characters. One little-known indie author whose worldbuilding and storytelling I found really interesting, especially in her first book, is E.P. Clarke. In The Midnight Land, She created a society based on pre-Christian Russia in which women hold all the political and social power. That in itself isn't terribly unusual, but what I found interesting is that she didn't make the women Amazons and the men weaklings, which is what you usually see in books where the women are on top. The men in her world are still bigger and stronger than women, but instead of this being the foundation for their societal power, it's the reason why they lack power, because of a the societal belief is that "men are brutes" and too violent and stupid to be trusted to do anything requiring thought. With this foundation, she goes on to show how female leaders can be just as corrupt (or incorruptible) as male leaders. The Me Too question applies to her work as well, because she shows how women as well as men may use sexual harassment and sexual assault are used as tools of subjugation, which is really what they are. I guess my point is, if women routinely held the reins of power in society, they would be just as likely to do good or evil, as male leaders. We see this really well in Martin's work, as the reigns of Danerys and Cersei develop.
 
Q: Ah, okay, so let's revert to the more-traditional for a moment: who are some of your favorite heroines and villainesses?
 
A: Hmm, well, one of my favorite heroines is Rebecca from Sir Walter Scott's Ivanhoe. She is stalwart and unflinching in her passive resistance to Brian's designs and desires, and (spoiler) her refusal to yield causes Brian to sacrifice himself to save her. Tenar from the Earthsea Cycle is another heroine I've loved over the years. She's another traditional heroine in the sense that, at least in the Tombs of Atuan, in which she's a teenage girl, she could not or would not have broken free from the Old Gods without Ged's influence and help. In Tehanu, however, the mature, 30- or 40-something Tenar steps into the role of hero (rather than heroine--I see these terms as describing the narrative roles of protagonists rather than being strictly gender-related). In Tehanu, she assumes the role of mother and protector, and she is the primary force in keeping the title character, a young girl named Tehanu, safe from the people who want to use her or hurt her.
 
I can't really name a villain that I "love." I really don't like villains--I love it when authors show me things from the antagonist's point of view and give me some way to identify with them, but then that person really isn't a villain any more, is she/he? I do like Cersei in HBO's GOT, but I hate Cersei in ASOIAF, because in the book she's stupid and boring. In the TV show, she's written as being much more clever and much more interesting.
 
In case it's of interest, here's a blog I wrote describing my ideas about how hero/heroine shouldn't be used to refer to the protagonist's gender, but rather their narrative function in the story. 
​amjusticeauthor.wordpress.com/2016/04/14/heroes-heroines-and-heroism/
 
Q: I think your hero/heroine argument is fascinating, and I understand what you're getting at. I wonder if it isn't just a question of semantics. I have some very strong female characters who are actors -- rather than being acted upon. I also have one notable male character who I suppose would fit your heroine role, but whom I just think of as having less testosterone, less need to show off, and is a great deal more sensitive. He's also a character of fluid sexuality, so I wonder if I'm subconsciously writing to some stereotype, although I see him as a very real person.
 
A: I think it's really hard to write male characters as sensitive souls and not have readers interpret them as weak, because our collective idea of male strength is centered on the courageous fighter/protector/warrior archetype. I suppose it could be to a degree hormonal, and then reinforced by societal bias that rewards males who embrace conflict (whereas females who wade into fights continue to be censured UNLESS they prove themselves twice the combatant of their male competitors). But we all have biases against compassion and empathy in males. Even when stories are about physicians or artists, they're nearly always portrayed as brilliant assholes (more or less). The truly nice guy is rarely the hero of any story (unless it's a comedy), although some of my favorite fantasies do feature kind-hearted males as the main hero (LOTR, the Earthsea Cycle, and the Demon Cycle [though Arlen is very pro-human and not at all compassionate toward the demons who are trying to wipe out humanity]). In A Wizard's Forge, I was playing with tropes and so I gave the prince in that novel all the stereotypical attributes of princesses in fairy tales and fantasies: he's beautiful, kind, and smart, and he sings. But even I couldn't leave him like that, because I too have an internalized bias against heterosexual men that aren't conventional tough guys--so I had to prove Ashel is tough, and I put him through double hell and had him hold tight to his principles and goals to prove it.
 
Q: Well, I suppose improvement starts with awareness, no? We're thinking about these issues, at least, and trying to write better, more well-rounded characters who don't conform to these age-old tropes.
 
A: Exactly. I think we've come much farther with women characters in that they have a broad palette of acceptable roles in stories now, be it queen, serving girl, warrior, merchant, mage, etc. You still see complaints about how all too often the plot puts the "strong female character" in need of rescue by a male character, but at least women can BE anything in stories. In fantasy, it seems like male protagonists still tend to be warriors or fighting magic-wielders. They're rarely peaceable scholars or pacifist healers. Of course, I'd love for your readers to correct me on this. Perhaps I'm just not reading the right books.
 
Here's my website: www.amjusticeauthor.com
And the AWF sale page on Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/B01I0L8LV0
And my twitter handle is @amjusticewrites

Austin Tichenor is the co-Artistic Director of the Reduced Shakespeare Company, an accomplished actor and director, and the author of the book, Pop Up Shakespeare
 
www.amazon.com/Pop-up-Shakespeare-Every-play-pop-up/dp/0763698741/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1528823633&sr=8-1&keywords=Austin+Tichenor
 
Mr. Tichenor's a busy man but was generous enough to allow me to interview him about his thoughts on violence in Shakespeare, the relationship between horror and comedy, and more. 
 
I’m wondering if you have any ideas about the continued popularity of his bloodiest works. Certainly, Hamlet and Othello are popular for other reasons as well, but there seem to be an inordinate number of Macbeths and Titus Andronicuses (Andronici?) these days. Has anything changed in the last 400+ years, and, if not, why not?

I may be the wrong guy to ask about this as a little gore goes a long way for me. But I think it all goes back to that old saying — I think Shakespeare said it first, in fact — “if it bleeds, it leads.” In that sense, I’m not sure much has changed in 400 years.
 
I just saw Hereditary the other night, and it was full of gore (in its late stages). Why do I feel as if I needed that to be part of the story? Should I seek immediate help, or am I normal?

I can’t help you with your need for gore.
 
I’m sure you’ve heard that Game of Thrones is loosely based on The War of the Roses (Lancaster/Lannister – York/Stark). What’s your take on that? Does Martin succeed, does he transcend his source material (blasphemy!), or does he miss the mark in some way?

One of many reasons I love Game of Thrones is that yes, it was partly inspired by Shakespeare’s history plays, but its success inspired the producers of The Hollow Crown to think that filmed versions of Shakespeare's Henriad and the Wars of the Roses would be popular and successful. And they were right — Richard II in particular is definitive, and the Henry VI plays are greatly (ahem) reduced but they’re a great introduction to the little-produced plays (and fantastic back story to Richard III).
 
Does violence in Shakespeare and/or Martin somehow enhance the story, or does it get in the way? Could you even do Macbeth or Game of Thrones without the bloodletting?

I’ve never seen Titus onstage (except for our reduced version), but I think the appeal of that play is absolutely about the blood/gore/violence — that’s its point. Macbeth, as you point out, has more going on: I just the saw the Chicago Shakespeare production (co-directed by Penn Jillette’s partner Teller) and it was relatively blood-free, except during Lady M’s mad scene (“out, out, damned spot”) when, in her delirium, the more she rubbed her hands the bloodier she got. It was a fantastic effect (and the actress was terrific: I interviewed her here). 
 
I have my own answer to this, but who do you think is more evil, Iago or Richard III?

Isn’t evil like the word unique in that it can’t be modified? Not sure who’s more or less evil — what I find powerful about them is their seductive and witty charm. Iago seduces Othello but I don’t think we really root for him; on the other hand, we do root for Richard, because his great soliloquies get us on his side. Maybe that makes Richard more evil — he enlists the audience as his allies.
 
I actually think a) there is such a thing as more evil – compare the man who murders his wife to the man who commits genocide, for example – and b) Iago is “more evil” simply because his motives are less clear, and it’s entirely possible he does what he does for the hell of it. Richard, at least, is playing for the crown, however ruthlessly he does so. (Allan's note: Austin didn't get a chance to respond to this comment -- just me being sneaky.)
 
So, is this current craving for violence cyclical? Will we eventually swing away from it and into some bizarre neo-Restoration Comedy?

I would love it if we cycled back to Comedy, neo-Restoration or otherwise. It always boggles my mind that comedy isn’t more widely regarded as artful. And whenever we perform our show The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged), there are always a few nutters who complain that God shouldn’t be mocked but have zero problems with Mel Gibson’s torture porn in The Passion of the Christ. It’s okay to celebrate the story of Jesus through violence but not laughter? That’s insane.
 
Here’s something I’m SURE you know about: comedy. Why is comedy in the midst of horror so effective? Think the Porter in Macbeth, or, say, all of Evil Dead II. The last Equity production of Titus Andronicus I saw was very campy and definitely played for laughs in its most gruesome moments. Why does comedy make it better?

You're right! I do have thoughts about this. Horror and comedy are incredibly similar. They both rely on the creation of tension, then the release — whether it’s a laugh or a scream. In horror, the scream is usually followed by a laugh, because we’re acknowledging that we knew it was coming and we fell for it again. 
 
Can anything horrible be made funny? I did stand up for nine years, and I never heard one joke about abortion. And yet I have this feeling we’re going to get there eventually. Is anything too taboo to be joked about?

I don’t think there’s anything you can’t joke about, but, that said, if you’re making jokes about sensitive topics, they better be pretty damn good jokes. When people complain about jokes being made about a recent tragedy, my response is that the joke is not the problem — the problem is the problem. Sometimes a joke gives us power when we feel powerless. (Second City once did a sketch about a creepy guy trying to pick up women at an abortion clinic. Very disturbing, but very funny.)
 
My favorite combination of comedy and horror is Shaun of the Dead. Perfect combination of comedy, horror, and heart (and yes, also guts and spleen).

Why do I get the feeling that if executions were public, people would still show up to watch, even in 2018?
​
I think you’re right about executions, but fortunately I don’t think the public would stand for them now. That’s one difference between now and 400 years ago. Though with Trump in office, who the hell knows what’s going to happen.
 
For more on Mr. Tichenor, please visit:

www.imdb.com/name/nm0862662/?ref_=nv_sr_2

​How did you get into your craft? What inspired you?
People were not doing medieval sheaths right, and I started there. Then it was putting handles on others blades, then making my own- swords were just a logical extension of that process.  Very few people at that time were making swords that really felt like the antiques I had handled.
How long have you been at it?
I started researching medieval weapons in high school, but really didn't start making them until well after I left the army- say around 1992.
What was the first piece you made and how does it compare with your current work?
I dunno- some kind of knife, probably, something small.  Maybe an eating knife for SCA events or some such. Pretty crude by my current standards.
What is your favorite type of weapon to make and why?
Honestly, I am not sure I have a favorite. I do enjoy the more elaborate, detailed pieces like saexes, Scottish dirks, Viking swords and the like.
How long do each of the different types take to create?
Wow- way too many variables there for a meaningful answer. Most knives take a day or two, most swords take 2-3 days. There are exceptions- sometimes a piece goes very fast or takes longer than anticipated.
What's more fun: designing or making?
There's a difference?  I typically start with an idea or type and design as I go.
Are your weapons combat-worthy or are they more for display?
I make real weapons, and they will do anything that can be reasonably expected of a weapon of their type. People use them all the time for uses ranging from cutting trials to martial arts to theatrical use.
What is your all-time favorite piece and why?
Wow- I've made a few thousand blades over the years; I can't remember them all, let alone pick one!
Your craft sounds potentially dangerous. Have you ever been injured? What was the worst injury?
Yes, tools that cut steel don't do good things when they encounter flesh. I suppose the worst was when the buffer grabbed a dirk I was polishing and drove it into my leg about an inch-and-a-half. That was not fun.
What are some common fantasy-writers misconceptions about swords? 
Number one would be that they were heavy. Seriously- if the best sword you could make was heavy and clumsy you'd fight with something else. Medieval swords were the end result of about two-thousand years of development; they were sophisticated and very well-made for their use.
Is there anyone in your field that you admire and/or has served as a mentor for you?
There are a lot of people that I admire in this field. Chuck Sweet and Ike Roe gave me some very useful pointers early on, and Gus Trim and I have sort of mentored each other.
In your opinion, what is the best movie for accurate medieval-style combat?
Movie fighting is a very different thing than real fighting, so I tend to judge movie fighting by a different standard. Probably the best representation of sword-fighting I have seen on the big screen was the 1974 'The Three Musketeers.'  I thought 'Gladiator' was quite good as well.
What are some of your favorite books?
'Lord of the Rings,' 'Rendevous with Rama,' 'The Deed of Paksenarrion,' are a few, but my all-time favorite might be 'The Paladin' by C.J.Cherryh
I understand you're an author, as well. Tell us about your book(s)!
Yes, my wife Linda and I have co-written several novels and novellas. 'Diaries of a Dwarven Rifleman' and 'Lord of the North' are told from the perspective of dwarves in a medieval fantasy world. 'Rage of Angels' is near-future military SF about what happens when the Earth is attacked by smart aliens. Our novellas 'The Shield Maiden' and 'Tir's Hammer'  are historic fantasy.  The novellas were published by 47 North as part of the Foreworld series.
You've been a member of various fight-related societies. What is that like?
That's a bit like saying, 'You've driven several cars, what's that like?'  Each was its own unique experience.
Okay: power or speed?
Both, if at all possible. If it isn't I'll take speed.
Have you ever sold to anyone famous? What did he/she purchase?
Yes. They bought swords and/or knives.
A careful answer! I like a sword maker who doesn’t name-drop. What's the next rung up-the-ladder in your line of work? What's the next level for you?
I'm not sure; I think I would like to get better at the metal fittings for scabbards.
Do your neighbors ever complain about your hammering or grinding?
Nope.
Yeah, I suppose to would be unwise to provoke a man who owns a houseful of swords and knives. Where can readers go to learn more about your novels?
Best bet would be to look up Michael Tinker Pearce on Amazon.
I’ll just go ahead and post the link here. There’s really a ton of great stuff to see on your author page.
https://www.amazon.com/Michael-Tinker-Pearce/e/B00A6X16X6/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1527350180&sr=8-1
And here’s the link for Michael’s swords, etc.:
http://tinkerswords.com/gallery-of-swords-two/
I’m definitely feeling covetous of many of your pieces. Wow!

Waiting for the Sun to Go Down

There is a low hum. 

A bit of a hiss.

Like that first few minutes on vinyl before the song starts. You can hear the song churning out low and slow. You are in the dark now. Lying on your floor with those huge headphones on. Around you, the world is still going. You have someone in the kitchen cooking a thankless meal. You have a sour man with sore feet drinking a beer who just wants to be left alone in a rundown chair, threadbare and lumpy. You can still hear the world. The trucks are blazing by your house right close to the highway, and you can hear them now ’cause the music is creeping, the notes so muted you can barely hear them.
But they are there; they have a whispered promise, because your friends all told you this was a good record. You spent the last of your Christmas money on it. You are broke again, but the other kids keep talking about how this is the album. So here you are, breathless on the floor of your bedroom, waiting for magic.

The first hard notes that come to you are bass. The songwriter is just laying this down. Getting a good base coat, like that model you made with your father before he started to hate you, when he wasted all that time applying a primer. The bass hits harder, you feel that chord in your chest. Like the strained beat of the heart attack you will have when you’re 40. Too young to die. Not too young to try. Now the bass seems angry, and you can feel it boxing you in. It is trapping you.

Drums come out like a wildfire you once saw when a bolt of lightning hit a field outside of town. The drums blister the inside of your head like the fire blistered the paint on the road sign. You’re Leaving Small Town, Come Back and See Us. But these drums don’t belong here. Not in this tiny burg. Not in your shamble of a room.

You are realizing now that you are in the dark, the only light the soft glow of the stereo volume button. You stare at it like the pistol in a game of roulette. You stare at it intensely because you are starting to sweat now. You are scared. The music has taken over the room. The music has hold of you. You can feel its humid grip wrapped tight around your body. It’s locking your limbs up. It’s bringing you to trembling. With hate of all things mediocre, you grab the knob and hit the volume as hard as you can. You roll the tumbler. You pull the trigger and when the first yowl of the singer hits your ears, you realize you made a mistake. You are in too deep now. It’s too loud. It’s too much.

It’s never gonna be better than this again. The next time you’re here, you will have heard the album, you will be prepared for it. But the warnings your friends gave when they were in the car after school, bitching about how good music doesn’t make it on the air, were too flat. Those warnings, you did not take seriously. Now you’re here. Now you are riding the edge of a razor of Heavy Metal and you are never gonna be the same.

You thank God your parents gave you your own room when they kicked your sister out. No bratty younger brother is going to come in here and snap on the light. At that moment you know you are a bad person, because even though you will not see your sister until you’re thirty, and she will be pregnant with a stye in her eye, bitching about Reagan, you are glad she is gone. Would have kicked her out yourself if you had known this moment would hit you. If you had known this music would take you.

The first song fades and with the loss of the music, you are panting in breathless anticipation for the next song. Screaming from the start, this song has claws and it grips you tight. Painful in the shoulders, bloody, and it has wings and it flies away with you. It has you in the air and terrified. It has you staring down at your life in disappointment because here, when you are looking down at it all, you know she was not alone when you called tonight. You heard that voice in the background and you recognized it. You can’t compare to that guy. And tomorrow at lunch, she will break the rest of your heart in half. She has been taking a dull cleaver to it for years. Tomorrow, the final blow. The song carries you over all that. It’s a deep pain you will carry with you for most of college.

More songs, more crippling realizations, this album has a diabolical heart. It is a sergeant screaming that first day that you are useless after they shaved your head and called you a pansy. It is the dark heart of your teacher who really thought he would make it in the pros but was cut. He is bitter and trying to fail you. Looking for reasons to fail you. This dark-hearted album is a cruel kid with a BB gun. You are a bird with a broken wing. You are flapping in horror.

The next song breaks upon you like a thief in your house at night. More and more it comes to you. It washes over you as you listen, one tragic horror, one mundane nightmare after the next. When the song drops, like a bomb over innocents, you jump to your knees. You frantically crawl to your stereo, and with hurried, traumatized hands, you flip the album, almost dropping it. The needle falls instead of gently resting, and you hear the record wail out one heart-wrenching beat before the song is on you. No soft hum or gentle hiss this time. The song is in full, deep darkness now, and though you wish you could start it over and catch it from the beginning, you know there is no starting it over. The song has you now. You’re in its grasp.

Tony was a bully you faced in second grade and he never hit this hard. You never felt this helpless when he stared down at you, laughing while you cried. This song is the most hateful thing you have ever experienced, and you are not ready. You are not made of the strong stuff it takes to weather this song. The record keeps dropping on you harder and more devastating than you ever thought possible. And helpless, you can only grip tight to the spiral cord of the headphones and pray for the power to hear the next song.
The song stops like the car your drunk buddy will be driving when it slams into a wall. Your neck will never be the same. And when that car will make that horrid, sudden stop, you will think back to this moment as they load you into the ambulance. This is the song that will be stuck in your head. The next song fades like a road flare sputtering after lighting the area.

By the time the end of the album comes, the record has pulled back to look at you, the music gloating over the ride it just gave you. No roller coaster your father forced you to ride was ever this satisfied after bringing you to tears. When dinner comes, you are late. Your mother did not even call you to the spaghetti. Did not even knock on the door. Now the meatballs are all gone and it’s just sauce. But you barely notice.

All the next day in school you are walking like a shell-shocked soldier. Your friends know, and they are gentle with you. They know better than to ask if you want to go steal a six pack and sit out behind the drive-in, honking the horn during the serious parts and laughing. Because every one of them knows you will not come. You will be at home after school, waiting for the sun to go down on your dingy house. Because all day long, they know you have been thinking about your headphones. And the soft glow of your stereo.
This is what it is like for me to write a dark fantasy novel.

This is what I miss during my time off.

I’m just waiting for the sun to go down.

​Jesse is the author of Hemlock and other books. 

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If you’ve ever experienced the dreaded party wipe in gaming or in literature, you know how devastating, unfair and unnecessary it all seems. Yes, yes, and no. It is devastating, and it is cruel. But it’s entirely necessary. 

Many years ago, I was playing Diablo (One, as it turned out), when I heard about trainers – software downloads that allowed a character infinite lives, infinite money, etc. It sounded like a good idea at the time, so I quickly attached the trainer to my game and…almost immediately lost interest. You see, without the threat of death, the cost, and without the gradually doling-out of increased wealth and equipment upgrades, the game – or the novel – is robbed of its dramatic tension and suspense.

Okay, you say, sure. But a complete party wipe? A Red Wedding? Yes. It’s the same concept on a larger scale. If such events don’t happen every so often, the world in which they transpire won’t seem quite as deadly and, ironically, as real. Because these things do happen in the R.W.  Consider the French and Russian royal families. Or the Alamo. Or the 54th Regiment at Ft. Wagner. Or Custer’s Land Stand. Okay, in retrospect, that one was gratifying, but I’m certain it wasn’t so gratifying to the relatives of those lost.  And there are smaller, more relatable tragedies – entire families lost in car crashes, botched burglaries, etc. I don’t mean to suggest these events are remotely entertaining; rather, I hold them up as things that do happen in life and must happen in fantasy.

We’re a funny people, we readers and/or gamers. We’re willing to believe in elves and aliens, but ask us to accept a world in which the “good guys” never die? No. Effing. Way. And that’s because, on some level, we need it. We’ve all lost loved ones; we all will. We know that life can bring boundless joy, but also despair. Even in the midst of experiencing that boundless joy, some of us are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And the ancients knew it, too. Look at Greek Tragedy. Or Elizabethan and Jacobean. Oedipus and Hamlet have to die. Siegfried, too. And this brings us what the Greeks called “Catharsis” – a purging of pent up emotions, thought and proven to be healthy for the viewer. And again, it rings true. Lincoln was assassinated. Gandhi and MLK, too. The hero dies. Of course, I’m not advocating for this in the R.W. But I’m saying it happens. Too often.

Sometimes, though, it gives rise to another useful dramatic device: revenge. While it’s not always socially acceptable, revenge is something most of us crave at one time or another, but are not always able, for whatever reason, to execute or obtain. So, it satisfies something rather dark within us, some sense of schadenfreude, to see it carried out in fiction and in games. And perhaps it prevents us from caving in to our baser impulses.

Now, sometimes, an author will bring the hero back, an event, of course, that does not happen in real life. Heck, I’ve even been guilty of this device. But it has to serve a purpose, to fit into the larger narrative. And there has to be a cost. What will it be for Jon Snow? I can’t begin to guess, but I am certain it will be both awful and profound.
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Just as it should be.

Greetings, I am fantasy writer Richard Writhen. Allan Batchelder suggested that I write a piece for this blog that addresses some of the myriad inspirations that led to the formulation of my works. No one can list them all, but I will attempt to scratch the surface. To begin with, let me just say that the influences that eventually become evident in one’s work are going to be different for every artist. No two people have the exact same signature, or fingerprint, just as each individual human being’s tastes in food or entertainment are going to be different. I remember getting into my uncle’s comic book box when I was a kid; I would spend hours looking through them, including old Starlogs and Vampirellas and magazines of the like. He even had a hardcover copy of Stephen King’s It floating around. In hindsight, it may have been a first printing. But I only flipped through it at the time, as it was only later that I could cognitively consume prose. I saw so many eighties genre films when I was a boy: The Return of the King, Cat’s Eye, Twilight Zone: The Movie, Tales From the Darkside: The Movie, Fire and Ice, Wizards, the Black Cauldron movie, Starchaser: Legend of Orrin, The Goonies, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Beetlejuice. I saw The Thing, Clash of the Titans, Dragonslayer and Excalibur for the first time on the videodisc format.
 
I read The Lord of the Rings when I was around 13 years old, actually after I had read more of Stephen King and Clive Barker’s early work. I had seen the Rankin Bass film years earlier in the mid-eighties. I read Falling Angel by William Hjortsberg in my early teens as well and was quite taken with it. I had also gotten more and more into comics, my absolute favorite being Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman. With hand-painted covers by Dave McKean, that title was like nothing I’d ever read. It’s first real miniseries, The Doll’s House, effectively altered what I felt could be done within the medium. I was also quite taken with Dan Brereton’s The Psycho, Gotham by Gaslight, The Killing Joke, The Dark Knight Returns, and Tapping the Vein. I didn’t read the Watchmen graphic novel until years later, when I heard that the film would soon be coming out. I had greatly enjoyed Zack Snyder’s version of Dawn of the Dead and wanted to see what he could bring to what is considered Alan Moore’s masterpiece. I also got into the Gladstone EC reprints, possibly aided and abetted by my love for the original Creepshow comic book tie-in by Bernie Wrightson. Around the turn of the millennium, I bought my first dvd player so that I could play the New Line Cinema special editions of Fight Club and Se7en, which I had just about worn out on VHS. They were very extensive, the FC one going so far as to include both domestic and foreign commercials for the film. I went on to become something of a film buff, but that had really started on VHS; I went through a long exploitation film phase where I saw such films as Irreversible, Cannibal Holocaust, Nekromantik, Naked Blood, In a Glass Cage, Funny Games and the like. But if you want to see a real masterpiece … Cannibal! The Musical. Trust me on this one.
 
A friend loaned me The Alienist in 2011 or so. At the time, I was actually working in Manhattan, so it was kind of funny to read this Victorian serial killer story and then half the locations were familiar from my day to day life. It was epic; I enjoyed the sequel even more, The Angel of Darkness. They both have a very grimdark tone. I also began to read many of the Barnes and Noble classics that I could afford at the time. The Call of the Wild, Heart of Darkness, Ivanhoe, Great Expectations, Oliver Twist. My sense of dialogue is probably most influenced by Richard Price and Dennis Lehane. If you want the best, the most fluid and believable dialogue, most of the time you need to go read a crime fiction novel. Characters in those kind of books for some reason talk just like people do in real life. The three Price books I’ve read are Lush Life, Bloodbrothers and Clockers. The two Lehane books I’ve read to date are Mystic River and Shutter Island. All are highly recommended, and the dialogue is first rate. Some modern novels have been very influential … A Head Full of Ghosts and Disappearance at Devil’s Rock by Paul Tremblay, We Eat Our Own by Kea Wilson, The Heroes by Joe Abercrombie, Prince of Thorns by Mark Lawrence, and Beyond Redemption by Michael R. Fletcher to name a few.
 
Oddly enough, I also take influence from other mediums as well, such as the visual arts and even some forms of music. I am a heavy metal enthusiast and listened to a good deal of it while writing my first three novellas. I’ve mixed it up with soundtracks in the past year or so as I work on my fourth one and a lot of short stories. Paintings influence me; I like the baroque period best. The darkness and the heavy religious themes such as the saints, martyrs and deities echo my work and that of other comparable dark speculative fiction writers in a way. All that stuff soaks into one’s prose and colors it, flavors it, and hopefully makes it more entertaining in the long run. So just to catch up to the present, I’m currently working on my fourth and (possibly heaviest so far) novella, The Angel of the Grave; the projected release date is May 1st, 2018. Also, my first three novellas are available on Amazon KDP if anyone is interested; I also have a decent variety of free content and reviews on the web via my WordPress site and various other blogs. Thank you very much and see you around the web!

For more on Richard and his work, go to:

​www.amazon.com/Richard-Writhen/e/B06XT6DMF3/ref=dp_byline_cont_ebooks_1

British actor and director Christopher Selbie has a go at Steel, Blood & Fire in the run-up to a full audio version!

​soundcloud.com/user-431713100/steel-blood-fire-demo

A Mouth Full of Grit: Writing Grimdark Sci-Fi and Fantasy
By C.T. Phipps

Fantasy has a bad reputation with casual readers, in part because literature snobs have an issue with it (I know, I work in academia) and because a lot of people just don't understand the genre. Their experience with it was the Hobbit and Narnia when they were younger or Disney films. The Lord of the Rings and A Song of Ice of Ice and Fire along with their adaptations in the past two decades have done a lot to change that but the reputation of it as a somewhat childish genre lingers.

Interestingly, this attitude persists in fantasy fandom as well with some of them believing the genre has been polluted with far too many Tolkien-clones that lack the original novels complexity and depth. Indeed, part of why A Song of Ice and Fire was so well-received was that it was a darker and edgier take on the genre with not only realistic consequences to events but showing just how horrible the usually idealized Middle Ages could be.

I, myself, am a fan of writing grimdark and work which pushes the envelope of traditional fantasy rules. My sci-fi novel, AGENT G: INFILTRATOR, was created with the premise of, "What would a novel be like from the perspective of the corporate samurai bad guys who work for the megacorporations?" I thought of my space opera LUCIFER'S STAR as following up the equivalent to Return of the Jedi but lacking a heroic Rebel Alliance to replace it but a far more cynical "realistic" revolution. Finally, WRAITH KNIGHT stars a Dark Lord and tells the story of how someone might become one with the greatest of intentions.

I'm not quite as gritty as some authors but I thought I would share my advice for those who want to try to be a bit darker and edgier with their writing. Here's ten tips which I've found useful when creating my stories.

1. Flaws make the protagonist
 The first piece of advice I have for any writer when creating their protagonists is DON'T try to make them likable as that's actually counterproductive in many places. Flaws make protagonists more interesting and things like bad attitudes, greed, old grudges, and more are what generate reader interest. "The Good Guy" is the most absolute boring kind of character you can create. Indeed, some of the best novels have been thoroughly awful people who are, nevertheless, interesting.

2. Bad decisions have consequences
Bad decisions happen all the time in books as heroes are expected to violate common sense. They go back for the man left behind, they try to rescue the princess, and go into battle against forces which heavily outnumber them. Which is why you should have these bad ideas...fail miserably. Not all the time but enough that it makes the setting work better. Like the hero bravely turning around to face the attacking horde then getting knocked out and all of his men slaughtered.

3. Good doesn't mean right
Similarly to the above, it's a good idea to have the most moral characters challenged in their actions. Say Prince Such and Such receives a bunch of refugees from outside of his kingdom which he fights the nobility for the protection of. Make it so this leads to other consequences like overcrowding or, if you don't want to make him the bad guy, a massive riot from the racist citizens which leads to purges. Decent actions can be hard and there's no guarantee they'll work out.

4. Happy endings or not
Happy endings are something which aren't terrible to have but it's also good to make things not quite as neat as they could be. Tolkien knew this when he had Frodo unable to cope with normal society and need to go to the Blessed Realm (which is a metaphor for premature death if I ever heard one). But yes, maybe the orcs are still around and will cause trouble for years to come. Maybe it turns out the girl who the hero has been pining for the entire time doesn't like him, is married to someone else, or is gay. Maybe the bad guys weren't entirely defeated but one got away scott free in the end. It makes things a bit more bittersweet and (again) interesting.

5. People are complicated
It's important to make sure you layer your cast with multiple dimensions. Bad people should have good qualities, even if they're monstrous terrorists who love killing, maybe they have a fondness for fine art as well as a love of children. Maybe the king who is kind, compassionate, and a decent ruler is an unrepentant misogynist or considers the peasants to be people who must obey him by divine right. Throwing in these complications makes the reader uneasy for getting a handle on them--which means they pay more attention.

6. Violence is not fun (except when it is)
Violence is inherently exciting but making it heroic is often a cheat for the reader and there should be opportunities to make it more visceral as well as upsetting. Having awkward like a mook running away, only for the hero to instinctively shoot them in the back or the smell which accompanies the disembowelment of another person with a sword is good. It makes the violence have punch rather than be a sanitized affair. In the original Star Wars there was a lot of blood leaking out of the guy who lost his arm in the Mos Eisley Cantina. Then there's the chaos and brutality of a large scale battle, which might end up in war crimes depending on the time period. These details can make battle and its aftermath more engaging prospect for readers.

7. Society sucks 
To make a gritty sci-fi or fantasy novel you should definitely make a world where there's lots of casual corruption as well as injustice. These should be features which the heroes can't actively engage with. Everyone expects it from the evil Empire but if the world just has no easy answers then it's a place which will feel real to most of us. The petty evils of bureaucracy, indifference, and so on should be everywhere even during the worst of struggles. 

8. Kill your darlings
Characters have to die in gritty works. If you can develop them before they die, so much the better. It helps to make individuals who are likable, on the protagonist's side, and who suffer a grizzly fate for their goodness. It also makes sure even if you're not going to kill or maim your protagonists that the audience isn't sure about any of their supporting cast. When developing a story, set aside some characters to be slaughtered like lambs on the altar of good storytelling.

9. The Smell of the Streets
The streets should always smell in gritty fiction. They should have the taste of asphalt, desperation, and sadness. You should always make sure to assault all of the senses of your reader when writing as that will make things stronger​.

Hopefully, these tips will help you write a grittier, darker, and better story.

​You can learn more about C.T. Phipps at:

www.amazon.com/C.-T.-Phipps/e/B00L32LLDY/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1511634431&sr=8-1​
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Some writers may find the task of world-building daunting. But if you were lucky enough to grow up like Sherman Alexie, George R. R. Martin, even or Stephen Colbert (or me), your deep and lengthy experience with Dungeons and Dragons makes the process feel like donning a favorite pair of old jeans. You are already aware, for instance, that magic must have a cost. You understand that occupied cities and territories have governments. You know that money makes the world go ‘round. In short, you’ve been dealing with the minutiae of world-building – other people’s and your own – for so long that’s it’s become almost second nature.

But what if you never played Dungeons and Dragons?

Well, that means you were one of those kids. You know, the ones with actual lives, with friends, with things to do! We D & D fans generally named our orcs and kobolds after you. But let’s suppose that now you’ve seen the light. You never played D & D, but you regret your shortsightedness and would now like advice on how to proceed with this world-building business.

Easy.

That’ll be 25 gold pieces.

I’m not kidding.

Okay, I am kidding, but it’ll cost you 250 experience points.

Fine; I’ll help you.

Consider the world you live in. It’s a poorly held secret the George R. R. Martin did so when creating his Song of Ice and Fire. The whole “Game of Thrones” universe is famously modelled upon the War of the Roses, between the Yorks/Starks and Lancasters/Lannisters.  This was his skeleton, his framework. From there, for example, Dorne is Spain. Meereen is Cleveland. Kidding. I think. But if, as I said, you do consider the world we live in, you’ll see a veritable checklist of questions to be answered. Questions like: Is there religion? If so, who or what is worshipped and what does this look like? Why does it happen and what, if anything, do the faithful receive in return? If there is religion, are there also non-believers? How are they viewed and/or treated? What does the calendar look like? How many seasons are there? If you have more than one moon, what are tides like? Are there nights of multiple full moons? What is the light quality like on those occasions? I mentioned money earlier. What passes for currency in your world?
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Literally everything you encounter in our world can have its fantasy analog, you see? Here, do this exercise:
We have buses, they have…
We have McDonald’s, they have…
We have WWII, they have…
We have Exxon, they have…
We have crack, they have…
We have Cuervo Gold, they have…
We have coffee, they have…
We have Motel 6, they have…
We have football, they have…
We have Westboro Baptist Church, they have…
We have the Red Cross, they have…
We have ATMs, they have…
We have Disneyworld, they have…
We have tornado alley, they have…
 
Make a game out of it. Play it with your kids. Or your neighbor’s kids. Just don’t offer them candy. But do play it. Answer all the questions you can, and then let your mind loose in your new world. Have at it like a Weight Watcher in a Krispy Kreme!
 
You will love what you discover.