I recently read the first fantasy novel I’ve ever read by a black author, and while I was embarrassed that it was the first, it also got me wondering what the climate is like for black readers and writers of fantasy. Fortunately, I have an acquaintance on Twitter who reads a lot and pulls no punches in her social commentary. So, I thought I’d poll her and also the author of this novel I’ve just read and ask them a few questions that have been zinging around my brain. There’s nothing revolutionary here, but it’s a start, the beginning of a larger, necessary conversation.
Here are my questions and their responses.
 
What are you not seeing in contemporary fantasy that you’d like to see or feel we should be seeing?

Lexie
More UNAMBIGUOUSLY brown-skinned or dark-skinned Black lead characters. I know that we're starting to see more of it lately like with the popularity of Children of Blood and Bone, but in my opinion, there still isn't enough. Often times when an MC or even a side character is Black, they're ambiguous and/or light-skinned. They have "caramel" colored skin, curly hair, and cute little nose. I want a dark-skinned character who looks unambiguously Black with Black facial features. The media has always had a tendency for colorism, wherein they cast or depict lighter skinned ambiguous Black people who you cant really tell if they're Black. Light-skinned privilege is real and it’s everywhere. Darker-skinned Black people are often overlooked or portrayed negatively and I want to see more of them in the spotlight in my fantasy books.

Alexzander
I don’t see people of color (POC) existing within but beyond their ethnicity. My blackness is usually determined by the room I’m in. I don’t sit alone in my room ‘feeling black’, I am usually reminded of my pigment by someone else’s reaction.
I listen to hip-hop and R&B but I also listen to Maroon 5 and Florida/Georgia Line. My childhood cemented how I feel, but not what I think. Miles Morales (the black Spiderman) is a great example of a black character whose character has nothing to do with his blackness, if that makes any sense lol.
Is Bruce Wayne of German descent? Does it matter? Is Jaime Lannister influenced by his ethnicity one-tenth as much as by his family and particular life experiences? I would like to see more characters who just happen to be POC and fewer ‘POC’ characters.

(How) can black authors participate in fantasy in a way that is uniquely their own, speaks to their heritage, and yet appeals to a broader base in the name of book sales?

Lexie
Honestly, I don’t think they should have to appeal to a broader base. If a Black author wants to write their story in such a way that it mostly appeals to a Black audience, then so be it. Is a predominantly Black audience not good enough? I can imagine an editor saying "the story is great, but what about the white readers, they may not be able to relate to this" and to that I would hope a Black author responds, "What about them? This story is steeped in Blackness and white people can learn to relate to experiences that don't exactly match theirs or not. But Black readers have been doing it for years."

Alexzander
I have no idea! I write stories where the characters simply happen to be dark skinned, as the series progresses and more social issues become the focus of my main character’s journey, I will address things like discrimination, incarceration and slavery – but not from a western point of view. Racism is very different in a world where there are literally different races but the feelings, the oppression, exclusion, and hostility it creates, remain. I think simply by writing in the genre, our unique experiences will pepper our work and thus spread our perspectives. I have more friends raised by grandparents than parents. When I write that into a story it’s not to give it some urban edge, it just happens because it’s natural for me. As far as sales go; just write good books. Oh, and promote, promote, promote!

Are you seeing any increase on bookstore shelves and/or Amazon for black fantasy authors?
 
Lexie
I have seen an increase; I actually recently download some books to my Kindle by Black fantasy authors that were recommended by the Kindle algorithm which I appreciated. I haven't read them yet but I was very happy to see a decent selection. I even went looking for more Black fantasy authors and was pleasantly surprised to find more than I expected
 
Alexzander
I am not seeing a bunch more authors of color, but I am seeing more POC characters on covers and that’s fantastic! When Drizzt Do’Urden came into my life, everything I thought about fantasy changed. Just to see a dark face on a fantasy cover was inexplicably beautiful to 14 year old me.

Who are you favorites or inspirations?

Lexie
My favorite fantasy author of all time is currently Rick Riordan, I'd follow him into Tartarus honestly. My original favorite fantasy author was Anne McCaffrey until I discovered Rick. I don’t have a favorite Black fantasy author YET ‘cuz sadly I haven't read many.
 
Alexzander
I love Rothfuss, Jim Butcher, R.A. Salvatore, Mark Lawrence – Michael J. Sullivan is my current professional hero. Slim on options beyond white men for this list lol. These authors write characters. You could throw their creations in completely different universes and you would still get compelling stories because they are fully crafted, beautifully evolved, incredibly complex and complicated characters. And any of them being black or Asian or Martian would still not be the most fascinating thing about them.

What are you sick and tired of seeing?

Lexie
Going back to my first response, I'm tired of unambiguous or light-skinned Black characters.

I'm tired of the "sassy Black best friend", while Black people are often humorous in real life and yes, we can be pretty "no nonsense", often times in books they're one dimensional. They have no personality or identity beyond being sassy.

I'm tired of seeing Black characters sacrifice their life or loved ones for the sake of the white MC. When this happens, the Black character often exists for the sole purpose of being killed just to save the more important white character. An example of this is Bonnie in the Vampire Diaries tv show. Over the course of 8 seasons, Bonnie dies twice (both times it was to save her white friends who caused the problem that resulted in her death), her father is murdered, her mother is murdered, her grandmother sacrifices herself to save Bonnie's white friends, and her lover is murdered. And at the end of the show, she gets NO happy ending. Nope, no happy ending. She goes off to Africa for some random ass reason. I mean really. Its absolutely ridiculous. She was a plot device who existed to suffer for the fuck ups of her white friends and then either she or someone she loved had to die as punishment or sacrifice. I am so beyond sick and tired of that shit.
 
Alexzander
The ugly side of realism. People write dragons, spaceships and elves on one page then add Nazi’s on the next because ‘realism’. Every female character gets raped, realism. The people who are poor speak slang are the darker members of their species because, you know, realism. Teen pregnancy, local bullies that everyone just kind of tolerates as he traumatizes their children. Jaded soulless teachers. You can do anything you want, and you build a world with all the problems of this one?! Why? I mean, I don’t know why one would make that choice given all the options available. This is fantasy, be fantastic.

For those interested, Alexzander's book can be found here.

A tale of dreadful, creeping evil and abject horror…Marketing!
So, you’ve done it: you’ve slept with a woman (sorry, Monty Python flashback). I mean, you’ve written a book and self-published or found a small indie press to put it out there for you. Hooray for you!
That was the easy part.
If you ever hope to sell more than a hundred copies, total, you’d better start marketing like your life depends upon it.
Where to start, though?
Since 2013, I have tried just about every approach there is, on every existing – and some now defunct – social media platform(s). I’ve made posts or paid ads on:

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• Tumbler
• Pinterest
• MeWe
• Goodreads
• Bookbub
• LinkedIn
• YouTube
• TikTok
• Snapchat
• Google
• Reddit
• Digg
• Google+
• Author websites
• Author blogs
• School newspaper ads

I’ve done podcasts, blogs, interviews, radio appearances, virtual and “real” conventions, done book, gift-card and swag giveaways, auctioned off the right for the winning bidder to die in my books; I’ve done writing contests, live readings at festivals, appeared in anthologies with other authors. I’ve commissioned an amazing musical theme for my series from an award-winning composer. I’ve hired a promoter/publicist. I’ve networked like a Trump supporter at a Covid19 super-spreader event…
And now I’m here to share some hard truths:

1. No single effort will achieve what you’re looking for – assuming what you’re looking for is a fanbase and book sales.
2. You are going to spend far more than you take in for years. YEARS. Or, you know, you’re just not going to be a factor in your genre.
3. If you invest in swag, you’ll get stuck with a lot of it, or, if it’s something wearable, be prepared to never see it on the backs and chests of your friends, even if they frantically request said wearable.
4. You will encounter assholes who mock your efforts, your work or your ideas. Are they jealous? What does it matter? Meanness sucks and is hurtful. And you’ll experience it.
5. You will encounter saints, who are always in your corner and work tirelessly to promote your work for no apparent reason. Some of them are your colleagues and putative competitors. Nonetheless, they persist. One of these people for me has been author C.T. Phipps.
6. You will be suckered into buying something with sky-high promises that never come close to delivering what you’ve been made to expect.
7. The best things, the most spiritually fulfilling, are free.

Those are general precepts. Now let me get down to the proverbial brass tacks.
Facebook, to me, remains the best bet for your advertising dollar. But be careful, it can get very expensive in a hurry and you need to know when to end a campaign before it breaks your bank. Also, its ad-making engines have gotten more and more byzantine as time has gone, and you practically need to know how to code to understand the damned stuff nowadays.
If you can get the fabled Bookbub, it is rumored to be the gold standard and ridiculously helpful. But Bookbub rejects many a successful author for reasons known only to them. I have not been so lucky, nor have many of my more-talented colleagues.
TikTok feels promising to me, but, so far, I haven’t found the right formula.
Book trailers are a necessary part of your larger campaign, but, in and of themselves, they don’t seem to have tremendous impact.
Colleagues who are friends. You must have them. You will need their advice and support, even if they don’t read your work – and most won’t. Don’t be a bitch about it. They have lives, family, illnesses, dreams and TBR lists like you wouldn’t believe. Quid Pro Quo is very, very rare. Get used to living without it. Support others because you’re a good human and don’t expect a reciprocal effort.
Do read the top indie and small-press authors in your genre.
I’ve already suggested this, but allow me to reiterate: spend everything you take in, and, if you can afford it, more. Do NOT look at your royalties as a supplementary income stream unless and until you have at least ten books published. But spend wisely. I’ve made every mistake you can make, so if you’re tempted but confused, email me at cblink.blink@gmail.com
Build your internet presence, be everywhere you can possibly be, so that the actual “web” of the world wide web leads to you through multiple, redundant paths. Make it more than easy for readers to find you, make it inevitable. Yes, you’re going to say goodbye to a fair degree of anonymity if you really want to sell your books. You can’t be both successful and anonymous.
Breathe. As John Lennon famously wrote, “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.”

​It’s been a long time, huh?
I’m gonna blame it on 2020. After all, the year has given us:

• Massive and ongoing protests
• Violence
• Vandalism
• Injustice
• Hurricanes
• ZOMBIE hurricanes
• Meth Gators
• Murder Hornets
• Record-setting wildfires
• Political chaos and upheaval
• Covid 19 (200,000+ dead)
• Economic woes and potential ruin
• 130 degree temps in Death Valley
• 300,000 “recycled and reused” condoms in Vietnam

The point is, as Shakespeare wrote, “If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction.” In other words, truth is stranger than fiction. In OTHER other words, you can’t write this shit. So, what does an author do when the RW is weirder and more full of plot-twists than his/her imagination? Well, in the first place, I take this strange scourge of events as a sort of permission: if reality is this off kilter, this bizarre, then fantasy must needs be more extravagant. I mean, the whole point of fantasy is to outdo reality.
Or to offer escape, which is certainly something we all need right now.
So, what am I working on right now? I wild yarn in which Shakespeare fakes his own death, sails to the Jamestown colony and runs into some truly horrific troubles, as in monsters. Why not? When life gets ridiculous, the ridiculous get ridiculouser. Yeah, that’s a word. Now. I hope this story will be out in the summer of 2021. After that, I’m onto a steampunk about a man who is mysteriously turned into a goat, and then a horror novel about a man possessed by the spirit of a slavery-era serial killer.
Plus, you know, there’s my day job. And you?

In my previous post, I listed all the indie fantasy I’d read over the last year or so. This time, in honor of the season, I’m covering all the horror – a good portion of which is also indie.
Salem’s Lot, by Stephen King
I was twelve years old when Carrie came out…and I read it with glee, following up with The Shining, The Stand, The Dead Zone, etc. Somehow, I completely jumped over his second novel, but I have just now remedied that. The book imagines, as King says, what might have happened if Dracula had come to a small town in 1970s Maine instead of Victorian London.
Stolen Tongues, by Felix Blackwell
This one came out of a short story in Reddit’s No Sleep forum, and, indeed, the first few chapters made me a little uncomfortable in the darkness of my home at night.
The Rust Maidens, by Gwendolyn Kiste
This is a novel about the horrors of urban blight and decay. It’s an existential kind of terror, in which certain young girls begin to, well, rust…
Kin, by Kealan Patrick Burke
This one reads a bit like vintage Jack Ketchum, except that it was written by an Irish novelist. Butchery, cannibalism, incest. It’s just like Black Friday at the mall.
Penpal, Dathan Auerbach
I never fully understood this tale of obsession, but it definitely has its moments and some of it is quite lyrical.
They Feed, by Jason Parent
This story, The Troop, and The Outsider have a lot in common. If you’re freaked out about things that come out of lakes, this one will scare you.
Tik, Sean E. Britten
If there’s one thing Mr. Britten knows, it’s action. If I were to add a second, it would be gore. This story features Filipino vampires in central Mexico. I know, I know, but it all makes terrific – and terrifying – sense.
Red Creek, Nathan Hystad
A nice tale with some beautiful prose. I enjoyed it, but wish it had found greater emotional impact by the end. I notice he's got a sequel out now, so if you like scary series, this might be your ticket.
The Troop, Nick Cutter
The most frightening thing about this one is that it’s plausible if not inevitable. At times, you’ll be reminded of Stephen King.
Kill Creek, Scott Thomas
Off the haunted house stories on this list, Kill Creek is at once the most innovative and traditional, in the sense that it takes the classic set-up in new directions, but also pays homage to all the necessary tropes. If there’s something you expect to find in such a tale, Mr. Thomas has included it. It’s the story of three horror novelists who spend Halloween night in an infamous haunted house. Big mistake. I read somewhere that it’s being developed into a major motion picture.
Straight Outta Fangton, Charles Phipps
This horror-parody – if it’s fair to call it that – is part of a larger world Mr. Phipps has created, and features vampires and all sorts of were-creatures. If you enjoy snarky dialogue and pop culture references both cheesy and hip, you’ll love this novel.
Gilchrist, by Christian Galacar
This story’s about a haunted town. What it’s haunted by is what makes this one a bit unique.
The Chalk Man, C.J. Tudor
I couldn’t say why, but of all the books on this list, this one stayed with me the longest. I liked it a great deal, and I never saw the ending coming.
The Outsider, Stephen King
A young boy is murdered and mutilated, and concrete evidence points to the most beloved man in town…who wasn’t actually IN town when the crime was committed. Yep, there’s some weird shit going down.
The Cabin at the End of the World, Paul Tremblay
A small group of religious zealots show up at someone’s vacation cabin, making a series of terrifying demands. Very cinematic – and harrowing. I’ll be surprised if someone doesn’t pick up the screenplay option on this. Blumhouse, are you listening?
The Fourth Monkey, J.D. Barker
An ingenious serial-killer who could perhaps give Hannibal Lecter a run for his money.
Canni, by Daniel O’Connor
This apocalyptic tale has elements of Cronenberg’s Rabid, Cronin’s The Passage, and a host of other “My friend suddenly wants to eat my face off” stories.

Over the last two or three years, I’ve had the opportunity to read a lot of independent and small-press fantasy, after decades of reading mainstream stuff, and I thought I’d take a few minutes to share some of my favorite books, series and/or authors. In no particular order, they include:

The Light in the Dark series, by Ulff Lehmann
If you’re Grimdark-curious, check out this sprawling epic by Lehmann – a German citizen who writes better in English than most American authors.  You’ll never think of elves the same way again.


The Blighted City, by Scott Kaelen
A city of undead? Say. No. More!

Literally anything written by Charles Phipps
Phipps has one of the most distinctive voices in contemporary fiction. If you like one of his books, you’ll like all of them, especially if you like snarky, Easter-egg filled novels – ranging from classic fantasy to space opera to Buffy the Vampire Slayer-style tales. Phipps
will win you over.

Paternus, by Dyrk Ashton
This guy knows more about mythology than you know about breathing, and he’s woven it all into a thrilling, action-packed epic you can’t put down. I can easily see this being made into a movie or movies. 

Fallen Empire, by Keith McCardle
Mr. McCardle served in the Australian military, and it shows in his writing. His battles are filled with such confident use of military strategy and authenticity, you’ll feel like you’re there. This book, the first in a series, focuses on a berserker who must share his body with a malevolent nature god.

Blackwing, by Ed McDonald
I’m gonna guess you’ve heard of this one. And it’s well deserved. It’s like the best of Glenn Cook, with the brutality turned up to eleven.

A Wizard’s Forge, by A.M. Justice
A young woman suffers from what is essentially Stockholm Syndrome at the hands of her sadistic lover, until she escapes and becomes someone powerful in her own right. The story combines elements of both fantasy and sci-fi, and I really enjoyed it.  The “bad guy” is probably one of the more three-dimensional and well-drawn villains I’ve come across in years.

Song, The Manhunters #1, by Jesse Teller

This, to me, was a bit more of the traditional D & D type story, but no less compelling for all that. I particularly enjoyed the scenes with the witch, but the whole thing's a great read.

The Goblins of Bellwater, by Molly Ringle
Okay, this one’s by my neighbor (West Seattle Strong!), but she’s a helluva writer, and I LOVE her Pacific Northwest settings. This particular story is a rather dark fairy tale and love story all-in-one. May put you off pastry forever.

The Heresy Within (The Ties that Bind, Book 1)
My favorite thing about this book is the character of Arbiter Thanquil Darkheart. Can't wait to see what he does next.

Master of Chaos (The Harry Stubbs Adventures), by David Hambling
This book is equal parts X-Files, Cthulhu Mythos and late 19th/ Early 20th  century romp through London. And I love David’s elegant turns of phrase.

Vampire Soul, a Heartblaze Novel, by Shay Roberts
Don’t let the cover or genre designation fool you. I was one of the beta readers on this book, and it grabbed me from the get-go and I couldn’t stop reading ‘til I’d finished. It’s chock full of monsters, combat, and mystery. It also has two timelines, one of which is a painstakingly researched American Revolution narrative. Masterfully crafted, it deserves to be read by everyone.

Kill Switch by Sean E. Britten
While technically not fantasy, I had to include this, because Sean’s books are so cinematic in terms of their non-stop action, over-the-top violence, and outlandish characters. And the commercials he inserts into the action are some of the funniest stuff I’ve read in years. Think the original Robocop in both action and humor.

I’ve probably read at least this much indie and small-press horror (not to mention my mainstream faves), but I guess that’s for another day. 

 
Shortly after my mother passed away in 2010, I decided I’d better hurry up and address some of the things on my bucket list. I’d already been a professional actor, a stand-up comedian, I’d performed with Seattle Opera, I’d taken a solo bicycle trip from Seattle to Salt Lake City, I’d been a teacher (and still am), done a fair bit of travelling, met and married my wife, and become a father.  But I still had creative energy to burn. As a much younger person, I’d been into illustrations. I also loved to write.
I decided to write a book, loosely based on my Dungeons & Dragons musings. Almost instantly, I knew who I wanted to write about, and a lifetime’s worth of books, films and television shows began to inform my perceptions of my M.C. I wanted to create a warrior so badass, he would, as one of my readers suggested, “make Conan run home to his mommy,” someone who would not be out of place in Erikson’s Malazan Book of the Fallen, someone who could kill the Bloody Nine.
That someone turned out to be Tarmun Vykers. I didn’t think overlong about his name. I chose ‘Vykers’ because it resonated with ‘Vikings.’ Tarmun just popped into my head, as most of my other characters names do. I wanted him to be as dominating as Achilles, and as fate-marked as Ulysses, as mysterious as Clint Eastwood’s Man with No Name, as fast as Bruce Lee. I wanted him to be unaware of his destiny and/or unable to resist what little he did know. And I wanted his story in-progress, with him at his lowest point.
I understood a fair amount about my (first) antagonist and his ‘family.’ I knew there would be the requisite band of ne’er-do-wells. And I knew who ruled the land. I knew the opening scene of the book, and I knew the story’s climax. All the rest came to me as I wrote.
There were many things I had to discover that I might have preplanned, including the sorts and names of deities, the names of currency, the days of the week, the months, etc. I had to come up with holidays, towns, street names, and more. For some folks, that’s the gravy. I was more interested in the dynamic between characters, more interested in action than in minutia. But, as the saying goes, to each his own. It is probably true that almost everything a person comes into contact with has its parallel in a fantasy world. Cellphones are just a means of distance communication. Toilets, in some form, are necessary, when and wherever your story takes place. Propaganda can take place on a posted bill as easily as on a flat screen T.V.
Somewhere over the course of my first draft, I began to realize that I had more to say and explore about my characters than one book would allow, so that, before I’d finished, I was already pondering Book Two. Likewise, I decided early into Book Two that I was writing a five-book series. Why five? It sounds silly, perhaps, but I felt the standard trilogy was too clichéd. But I also knew I wasn’t ready for a ten-book series like Malazan. And I haven’t changed my mind. Vykers’ story has run its course.
So: what advice would I give?

• Know how your story begins and ends.
• Know some of the highlights along the way
• But allow for yourself to be surprised
• It used to be said that not everyone has to live. Now, thanks to the Rains of Castamere, we say not everyone has to die. But some people should die. Some good and some bad, because that’s life, right?
• Political machinations can be more thrilling than swordplay.
• You will never satisfy all the detail geeks. I know some folks who feel there has to be a logical, scientific foundation for magic, for example. But then it’s not magic, is it? At the same time, it should have a cost, a price.
• Your work will never be universally loved; there are those who hate Tolkien and even Shakespeare.
• You will find your audience, people will enjoy your work and read it religiously.
• You will come to loath tropes, even as you’re bound by them.
• You will develop strong friendships with colleague/competitors.
• Be generous; you’re not competing with anyone but yourself.
• Most people will miss half of what you’ve written into your books.
• You will be unfairly panned once in a while.
• You will, someday, get a one-star review.
• Familiarize yourself with Six Trait Writing:
  • Sentence Fluency
    • Vary your sentence length and style
  • Word Choice
    • Don’t write to impress. Write to be clear. Don’t be repetitive.
  • Voice
    • This is where you write like you
  • Organization
  • Ideas
    • This is where YOUR imagination comes into play. Don’t rewrite the Lord of the Rings.
  • Conventions
    • Know the difference between its and it’s, there, their and they’re, etc. Check your spelling and then have ten other people check it.
• Read good and great writers. Read a few terrible ones.
• Have a daily word goal.
• One sentence is better and more progress than no sentences.
• It’s okay to change your mind.
• You’re (probably) not going to make money on your first book. Or your fifth. It’s a body of work you’re creating.
• Use pronouns, nicknames and other titles for your characters. If you write David, David, David over and over, you’ll drive your readers mad.
• Read Stephen King. You can break the rules of good grammar if you know you’re doing it and have a purpose.
• Spread out your exposition. Infer some of it. Make your readers think.
• If you have no combat experience, do your research. A LOT of it.
• Let the princess rescue the daring young knight.
• Let the bad guy be the good one all along.
• Make the dragon cowardly.
• Make your magic useless, occasionally.
• Lastly, don’t be bound by fear.

Of course, these are my own thoughts, and I imagine plenty of other authors would take issue with one or more of them. What we do is subjective, not objective. There is no mathematical formula, no scientific law to writing good fantasy (or horror, or whatever). I can tell from a lifetime of acting, singing, joking, drawing, etc., that what we do is art. Maybe not high art, but art nonetheless. And someday, you’ll find readers who will live in your works even more than your characters do.
And that’s amazing.

Today, I’m chatting with Cover Artist Extraordinaire, Felix Ortiz. First off, thanks for agreeing to this interview! Let me begin by getting the mandatory stuff out of the way first. How did you get started in this business?

My pleasure, you honor me with your interview! My art career has a fuzzy start, but I would say that a major milestone was joining the FB group Grimdark Fiction Readers and Writers and posting my fan art. That got the attention of a few indie authors. I also did a free cover as promo, which helped some more.

How long have you been designing covers?
I’ve been illustrating covers for about 2 or 3 years. I haven’t really designed typography for any except yours.

What would be the height of career achievement for you?
At this point, just being able to pay the rent doing just fantasy illustration. When that happens, I would love to mix this up with game design of some sort.

Who are some of the artists you were/are inspired by?
This is always a very hard question. There’s the giant giants like Frazetta and Paul Bonner. Then there’s the giants like Bisley, Jaime Jones, Richard Anderson, Stephane Martiniere, Simon Goinard, and like a thousand others.

Do you have a favorite genre of story to illustrate (he asked, suspecting the answer is fantasy)?
Fantasy, ha! But I used to love drawing mechs. The only reason I focus on fantasy is that it comes naturally to me and earns me money. But i’ve been itching to do some space/sci-fi related stuff.

Do you have an all-time favorite cover that you’ve done and can share?
I did say the one I did for Jeramy Goble, Eulogy for the Dawn, because it got me the most likes I believe. It also has a dragon!

Do you dabble or outright devote yourself to other media or types of artistic expression? Like, are into sculpture? Landscapes in oil or watercolor? Macramé? (Kidding)
 Not at the moment. But my wife says I could’ve been a dancer. I’ll take it.

What’s the most-common mistake authors make in choosing a cover design and/or artist?
In my experience, trying to cram too much detail into the brief. The cover itself can be complex, but I did rather have more flexibility when it comes to painting or art directing.

Is there anything that doesn’t belong on a cover?
Spoilers? Maybe too much gore.

Are there trends in book cover design, and, if so, where are we now and where do you see us going in the next few years?
Theme wise, I see a lot of authors like their heroes to be looking away, sometimes at an enemy. In terms of technique there’s more acceptance for the use of photography or 3d, and I think this is where the future lies. But illustration will never go away, not for a long time. There’s something about brush strokes (traditional or digital) that is very hard to replace.

As you know, Da Vinci spent a good amount of time studying human anatomy. Has that been part of your process as well?
Yup! I started doing D&D characters, so that was certainly a huge part of my learning.

What is the hardest body part to illustrate?
Hands and feet for me (and many others I think)

Have you considered writing your own book/series?
It’s a fantasy, but I don’t think I’m good enough. What I would love to do is design an RPG and run a game some day.

Do you do a lot of reading in the fantasy genre and, if so, who are some of your favorite authors, or what are some of your favorite books?
Yes! I discovered not long ago that I love dark humor in fantasy. Kings of the Wyld by Nicholas Eames is a big favorite. All the books by Rob Hayes are awesome. The Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz is another.
A lot of people compare the first book in my series, Steel, Blood & Fire to Eames. I’m constantly  having to point out  my book was first – by several years!

If you could design for any author living or dead, who would you choose? Tolkien

What the fuck is burnt umber?
According to google, reddish brown.

You have at least one child. Is your hope that child will follow his/her passion or would you discourage a career in the arts as a terrible struggle? (Asking as a lifelong actor…)
I would support her all the way. There’s a living to be made in the (commercial) arts. I had no mentoring or vision till my 40s. If I”m able to do it now, she certainly would, too, with proper direction.

This would be a great time to pontificate about the state of arts education and the way in which it is valued (or not) in our society and particularly by our government…you know, if you wanna.
I’m no expert, but I think the USA is showing the signs of a crumbling empire, or at least crumbling culture. The first thing to go is the arts. Be that as it may, we still have the internet! For the what I do, college is great but not necessary. With proper motivation you could learn all you need online.

Cezanne, Monet, Van Gogh, Serat, or Gaugin? Why?
Monet. Though I appreciate the other artists, I prefer the more figurative styles.

Picasso, Munch, Warhol or M.C. Escher?
Escher, for the same reasons. I’ve never been a huge fan of abstraction.

Da Vinci, Michelangelo, or Botticelli?
Michelangelo. His stuff looks more epic, in my opinion.

Sergio Aragones, R. Crumb, B. Kliban or Gary Larson?
Larson? These other guys I don’t know.

Do you know who John Buscema was? If so, what was his best work?
I know he is comic book artist, but I’m not a huge collector of comics, especially not of that classic style. I prefer stuff like Bisley, if any.

I know: you weren’t expecting a quiz. Just having fun with you. What’s next for you? What’s coming up that excites you?
Ha! I did have to google of a couple of those guys. My art class memory is fuzzy. Recently Tor approached me to do a 2nd cover for a series by Brian Anderson. This is my first big client and so far it’s going great. I consider myself very, very lucky.

Thank you so very much for agreeing to do this. Full disclosure to my readers, Felix has designed the cover for Book Five, which you’ll all be seeing soon. I couldn’t be happier!
My pleasure! Wish I could’ve done the previous 4!
Well, if I ever get the bank, you’ve certainly got the job!

Please check out Felix' work at:

www.artstation.com/felixortiz?fbclid=IwAR1IF6xNKkBN275H8MfBYE-plIAlVxZsTQ7hZ9j8IWNJ4Z6i6wmJ07tvjzI

The Long Wait
Like many of you, I have been critical of George R. R. Martin and Patrick Rothfuss for the impossibly long interval between their last books and whatever is next in their series. Ah, but with ages comes stretch marks – wisdom! I meant wisdom.
I now find myself in a similar predicament. The first four novels in my series came out about once every twelve months or so. This fifth and final book has taken me almost three years…and counting. And I have discovered there is no single reason for this phenomenon but rather a perfect storm of things, ranging from the current political climate in my country which seems to suck the very life from my soul, to fear of letting you down. Allow me to enumerate and elaborate upon some of the issues:

• As I said, the political situation in my country may be amongst the greatest dramas of our age. I get home from my day job and plop myself on the couch, riveted by the latest developments and non-developments. It doesn’t really matter what my own politics are in this case; literally everything that happens is without precedent and therefore historic.
• I think about the end of Erikson’s masterpiece, The Malazan Book of the Fallen, the weakest link of which, I think, was its finale. I should be lucky to write such a brilliant novel, but, as the end to his series, it fell short for me. So, I worry about likewise falling short of my readers’ expectations.
• There is also, I have discovered, a fear of letting go, of saying goodbye to these characters that I will have known for years and years and almost three-quarters of a million words.  And it will be goodbye. Make no mistake about that. This series was my maiden voyage, and I am bound for other lands (and stories) in the future.
• Marketing. The more I have learned about it, and the better I have become at it, the more of my time it seems to take. I am blessed to have a publisher now, but marketing remains largely my own responsibility.
• Being a decent human being. As my works have grown in popularity, I have caught the attention of fellow indie authors, and I have discovered, to my delight, that there is no competition amongst us, but rather a sense of comradery, of fellowship and mutual support. Thus, I spend a fair amount of time reading my colleague’s work and offering positive commentary that may help them along their own journeys. There is, as I once told the great C.T. Phipps, room for all of us, and perhaps no one demonstrates this thinking better than he.
• More writing. As a result of these new friendships, I have been invited to participate in a few short story anthologies, which are great fun, but naturally take time away from working on my series. You can find the first of these anthologies here:https://www.amazon.com/Blackest-Knights-C-T-Phipps/dp/1949914984/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Blackest+Knights&qid=1552261817&s=gateway&sr=8-1 There will also be a sequel coming out shortly, and I’ll be contributing to a third anthology from a different publisher this summer.
• Having a new job. I’ve been teaching for almost thirty years, and, while it was never a dream of mine, I have finally landed in what amounts to my dream teaching job. It is very hard and equally challenging. But I am learning. For the first time in forever, I am learning, and it is thrilling. Anyway, I landed this new job just prior to beginning Book Five.
• Finally, I took my first vacation to Europe in ten years or so last summer (and got heat-stroke. Fun times.), so that I spent my summer “vacation” actually on vacation, instead of writing.

All of this is by way of saying that, in the immortal words of John Lennon, “Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.” It was easy to judge these other, better, authors until life happened to me. Rest assured, however, the last installment of my series is coming. Just like winter. But, you know, in summer.

For this week's post, I'm just going to share the podcast I got to do with Sean Grigsby on Cosmic Dragon. Enjoy!

​www.seangrigsby.com/cosmicdragon/2018/11/26/episode-18-allan-batchelder?fbclid=IwAR0vsh-7dG52sFJchYbSBT93CJUXDlBP4tGJzB3u-Y5qGh2VOvPA4Bl3L-I

Building on my last blog entry, in which I interviewed the narrator of Steel, Blood & Fire, Christopher Selbie, I thought I’d continue in that vein and hold a Narrators’ Roundtable. Here, my panel discusses characterization, accents, warm-ups, ventriloquism and favorite swords. And – Allan’s editorial comment, here – don’t make too much of their evident humility. They’re all amazing at their jobs!
 
1.       How many times would you say you read a book in its entirety before you’re ready to begin recording?
 
Leah Casey
Usually twice. Once as a reader, just to enjoy the mood of the story, and then another to make my notes. I sometimes make notes during the first read if I’m struck by a very strong voice or passage. Other times, I do a “third” read, by rereading whatever I plan on working on that day.
 
Steve Marvel
There is a wide spectrum of practice on that score among narrators. I know narrators who read a book no less than twice—once for enjoyment, as a “regular” reader, then once to make copious notes. I also know narrators who don’t read the book at all, either because they’ve narrated so many titles they understand the forms so well that they feel they don’t have to, or because they’re so busy that they pay someone to pre-read and prep the book for them. I read a book once through, making notes on everything from character traits to point-of-view to pacing. I’d love to be able to read a book through more than that, but I’m not an especially fast reader, and I do this for a living, so I have to limit the amount of time I spend on each project. I find it an advantage, in fact, to be less familiar with the text than I’d be with a play script (which are far shorter in duration than the average fiction book and which one typically rehearses for four weeks). The element of discovery is vital to a compelling reading, and not knowing every word of a manuscript means I’m discovering some of right along with the reader.
 
Christopher Selbie
I begin by reading the book quickly in order to get a handle on the style. Reading quickly allows me to get a sense of what sticks out initially. Thereafter I read and re-read each chapter slowly making notes.
 
2.       What is the longest amount of time it’s ever taken you to find the “right voice” for a character?
 
Steve
For some characters, I’m still looking. Seriously, I’ve done a character or two I was never happy with. But, generally speaking, it only takes a few minutes to come up with a character voice, once you’ve read and understood the story. If you can calm down and allow yourself to concentrate and trust your body to relax into the character—even though it’s voiceover, you’re still better off feeling the character bodily, rather than strictly mentally—it’s usually a pretty short process to concoct a character.
The hardest ones are the “cameos” that come with little or no description. Those you have to make up completely, out of nothing.
 
Christopher
The longest time I have spent in finding a voice for a character is two days but usually a voice emerges as I read the book.
 
Leah
A few minutes. Or, sometimes, when I’ve gotten a little ways into their voice, I’ll suddenly want to change it, so I’ll stop and go back before I get too far in.
 
3.       What’s the least?
 
Steve
Like I say, it’s a few minutes. Occasionally, you run across a character you missed during your preparatory read, and you just come up with it on the fly. So, seconds. Milliseconds, really.
 
Leah
A couple seconds? For some background or one-off characters, I’ll breeze through them.
 
Christopher
See previous answer.
 
4.       Have you ever been haunted by/obsessed with a character such that you wished he or she was a real person?
 
Steve
No. That’s weird.
I assume you’re asking that from a writer’s perspective. I don’t mean to be arch, but if a character is really satisfying, really exciting to you, he’s real enough in your portrayal. You’ve already experienced him (or her) pretty fully.
 
Leah
Of course! It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I’ll find myself thinking about them for days on end. Very distracting!
 
Christopher
I have never been haunted by a character but I can see the characters in my mind’s eye and so they are “real” people to me.
 
5.       Have you ever been so taken with the world of a story that you wished you were in it?
 
Steve
Is there something you’d like to discuss about your life, Allan?
Again, part of the joy of acting is living through the characters. If a world speaks to you that much, you’ve pretty much already inhabited it. And this one’s interesting enough that I, personally, don’t long for others. Though I could do with a few less Republicans.
 
Christopher
I always want to be part of the world of the book. It helps me treat the story with respect.
 
Leah
Yessss. More than characters. My brain goes off and writes a completely different story. I adore and despise those moments because, again, very distracting, but on a grander scale. I have a lot of practice in daydreaming about this very subject.
 
6.       Who, in your opinion, are some of the great voices of all time – not necessary in audiobooks, but ever (think Orson Welles, etc.)?
 
Leah
Hoo boy. A long time ago (not too long, I’m being dramatic), The Chronicles of Narnia was narrated by…a lot of different people. I think they changed narrators with each book, and I’m quite sorry to say I can’t recall a single one of their names. However, I adored all of them. Listened to those cassette tapes whenever I could, and that’s what started my interest in this, I guess. But! If I have to pick a specific voice, I’m going to say David Paul Scofield, because I grew up listening to him narrate The Chronicles of Narnia when it was redone as a radio drama. Giant cast, sound effects, the works, yet I always marveled at the fact that Mr. Scofield managed to hold my immediate attention with his delivery of the non-dialogue text. He, and the narrators before him, gave me my love for audio-everything.
 
(I also enjoy Cecil Baldwin’s work on Welcome to Nightvale. What a voice.)
 
Steve
Wow. I don’t think about that much. Upon reflection, I’d have to say I really admire Mel Blanc. He not only had a rubber voice, but what he improvised about some of those characters—the things he came up with—were truly inspired. He didn’t just do voices, and he didn’t just create great characters. He created whole psychologies for those creatures.
But I love Orson Welles, too. There was so much behind his speech. Authority, and intelligence, and massive bravado.
 
Christopher
Great voices would include Orson Welles, Ian Holm, Laurence Olivier, Derek Jacobi, John Gielgud, Richard Burton, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith.
 
7.       What are some of the factors you consider when voicing a character – tone, pitch, pacing, accent (dialect), speech impediments, etc.?
 
Steve
Yes, all of those. I rely pretty heavily on accents, because many of them come easily to me. You do learn to explore the other aspects of speech you mentioned, though, because not everyone speaks with a readily-detectable accent.
 
Christopher
The factors that influence my choice of a voice for a character are age, gender, accent, pace and speech impediments (if there are any).
 
Leah
I think it changes for me each time I take on a new project. I’ve come to be less critical of myself when I don’t sound the way I want to sound as I listen to the playback. I focus more on how the character would deliver the words, so dialect and tone first and foremost, I think.
 
8.       Have you ever had to age a character’s voice over the course of a novel? What’s that like?
 
Leah
Yes! I find it to be one of the easier parts of narrating, strangely enough. Starting off as a naïve kid, growing up into a young adult, and then, usually when devastation strikes, something kind of drops into the character’s voice that just feels heavy and world-weary. Listening to that transition is very fun for me.
 
Steve
I don’t recall that I have, but that wouldn’t be hard, assuming you’re comfortable with playing age vocally. It would be mostly a logistical issue, tracking what age the character is at any given point in the book, that would be the toughest part.
 
Christopher
I have never had to “age” a character, but that would be an interesting challenge.
 
9.       Being bold and intrepid fellows, I’m sure there isn’t a genre out that you wouldn’t tackle; however, is there one you feel best-suited to?
 
Steve
It’s a good question, because publishers and fans alike seem to put a lot of emphasis on genre—for obvious reasons, I suppose. From my perspective, though, genre is immaterial in the face of a well-crafted story. Any story well told is a pleasure to narrate, whether it be about a hard-boiled detective or a space explorer or a shape shifter. It really is about the telling, not the subject.
 
That said, I gravitate toward thrillers: God, I love intrigue, and a good action scene. I also happen to like anything with broad characters. I just narrated a vampire romance, believe it or not, which is something I would have never sought out. The characters were so distinct and well-drawn and character-y, I had a blast narrating it.
 
Christopher
I feel I am best suited to either classical novels or fantasy. It allows my imagination full range.
 
Leah
Haven’t quite found my niche yet, sorry to say.
 
10.   How would you like your voice to be thought of by your peers? What would you like the “word” on your work to be? If someone were to compare your voice/readings with one of your peers, what would make your voice stand out?
 
Leah
I have no idea. Soothing? Maybe? I’m not sure what would make my voice stand out.
 
Steve
I hope people think of me as an actor who embodies characters well, who elicits the emotions and feelings the author wants from the listener. I guess the single word I’d like associated with my narration is “deep”. “Arch” might be another one. I love sarcastic humor—the subtler, the better.
 
Christopher
I would hope that my voice would be considered “engaging.” But in all honesty, I feel my voice is not distinctive.
 
11.   Is there a favorite, world-famous author you’d like to read for?
 
Steve
Vince Flynn. If he weren’t gone.
 
Leah
World famous? No. An author? Yup. James Kennedy. He wrote The Order of Odd-Fish, which still stands today as one of my favorite books. Also, M.M. Kaye. And Dianna Wynne Jones.
 
Christopher
I would love to read Dickens.
 
12.   What is a secret about your work that most people misunderstand?
 
Steve
I can give the first impression of being an elitist—which, humorously, in my mind, I am, but only as a parody of myself. I’m really more interested in finding common ground and in letting people be who they are, just being a witness, without judgment. That’s a much more relaxing stance, and I love it. But we’re all in such a rush.
 
Christopher
I suspect that people think I am energetic but actually I am extremely lazy.
 
Leah
Hnnn. I’ve had people say I must have a lot of fun all the time narrating. Not. True. I don’t have fun when I mess up. Bleh.
 
13.   Do you score your work like a musician or do you just take general notes and go from there?
 
Leah
Depends on the book. For the longer, more complicated ones with a lot of characters, I mark up a lot of things in the book, and in the audio file. For shorter projects, general notes are good enough for me.
 
Steve
I note everything said about a character and every “stage direction” the author gives about how anyone says anything. I underline and highlight and draw arrows, all in the service of giving myself as many cues as I need to read the story aloud, accurately, compellingly, without stopping. As actors, you and I have an instinct, I think, for when things are turning dramatic, or tearful, or jocund, so I don’t generally have to make notes on pace or tenor. Many narrators do that, though, I think, so talk to me again in a year.
 
Christopher
I use a combination of techniques, dependent of course on the task. I do treat the book as a score and make copious notes in the margins.  A shorthand if you like that makes no sense to anyone but me.
 
14.   Do you ever hear your own voices in your sleep?
 
Steve
No. I question your psychiatric stability, Allan.
 
Christopher
I have never heard the voices in my sleep only when I am painting or at my desk.
 
Leah
No, thank goodness.
 
15.   Have you ever paid homage to an old acquaintance by doing an impression of him/her in your work?
 
Steve
All the time.
 
Leah
Non.
 
Christopher
I often use the voices of people that I know, but they can hardly be called impersonations.
 
16.   What’s surprisingly hard about what you do?
 
Leah
Consistency of a character voice. I struggle with that.
 
Steve
Honestly, prep. Getting through the book the first time. Not every book fascinates you and, even with those that do, there’s still toil involved in getting through it. You have to use a dual mind when preparing a book, as I suggested before, in that you have to read it as the entertainment it is while, at the same time, picking apart the elements that make it entertaining. You can never fully just be carried away by the story, and you can never stop paying attention to how the narrative is sweeping along. Some narrators do read books more than once, focusing first on enjoyment, then on analysis. I’m just not that fast a reader. Like I said, I just don’t have time.
 
Christopher
The difficult in what I do is ensuring that I read the book for the listener. Creating word pictures, I call it.
 
17.   Who is someone in your field of whom you’re in awe?
 
Steve
George Guidall, Grover Gardner, and Robin Miles are three who spring to mind. Preternatural ability to narrate a book like they wrote it. Fiction or nonfiction—doesn’t matter. As comparatively small as the narrator community is, there are many truly accomplished storytellers out there.
 
Leah
I listen to a lot of different genres and narrators, so I haven’t locked on to someone yet. In one of my other fields, radio drama (I have a lot of fields, man. I’m a very restless person), I’m going to say Zach Valenti. Impressions, accents, he does it all.
 
Christopher
(Pondering the question…)
 
18.   Can you provide a link to something you think of as your best work?
 
Steve
My favorite thing to have done recently, I did under a pseudonym. Besides that, though, there are several things I think are good, clips of which you can listen to here:
 
 http://www.stevemarvel.com/audiobook-narration-demo/
 
Christopher:
 
https://www.audiobooks.com/audiobook/steel-blood-and-fire-immortal-treachery-book-1/351142
 
Leah
I…don’t know what constitutes as best. We are our own worst critic, after all. I’ll give the one I recently did, that was very fun, because I’ve never narrated in the horror genre before:
http://brickmoonentertainment.com/2018/10/19/instance-68-by-stephanie-jessop/
 
 
19.   Do you do a lot of vocal warm up and articulation stuff, or is your voice just naturally ready-to-rumble?
 
Leah
Weirdly, it depends on the time of day! In the morning? Oh, definitely warm up. But when I narrate late at night, I’m ready to go. Really strange.
 
Steve
Interestingly, the more I narrate, the more indispensable a certain warm-up becomes. Lips and tongue need to be warmed up, for me, though I’ve developed a routine that minimizes the time I have to devote to it. And some material lends itself to speaking slowly enough that you can concentrate more on articulation as you narrate, so you don’t need as rigorous a warm-up. That’s nonfiction, mostly.
 
Christopher
I very rarely do vocal warm-ups…but I do a few raw takes and play it back to myself just to be sure I am centred.
 
20.   How young were you when you started fooling around with silly voices, impressions, etc.?
 
Steve
At the age of four, I was delighting my parents with a JFK impression. I was hooked from there.
 
Christopher
I have always fooled around with silly voices from a very early age. I also listened to a lot of radio (I still do) and often repeat phrases to myself.
 
Leah
Young. My brother and I would put on puppet shows, I’d read from plays, quote characters from my favorite tv shows, movies, cartoons…gosh, I got into this super early.
 
21.   Ever try ventriloquism?
 
Steve
Yes! As a child. I was very much into magic and fooling people and the wonder of those gentle mysteries. I studied ventriloquism ardently for a time but could never get the hang of it.
 
Christopher
I have never tried ventriloquism.
 
Leah
Once. It ended in humiliation.
 
22.   Have you ever listened to a reading or watched a film, heard a voice, and thought, “that just ruined the whole experience for me?” That happened to me with The Polar Express. The actor voicing the fat kid is a middle-aged man who plays a lot of nerds in Hollywood, and his voice was a) instantly recognizable, and b) jarringly familiar in a cast of unknowns playing close to their characters’ ages.
 
Leah
I know exactly who you’re talking about, but it didn’t ruin the experience for me. But yes, I definitely have. It usually happens when I hear a voice that can’t maintain an accent/dialect.
 
Steve
I’m sure I do that all the time, without even thinking of it. I’ve certainly heard some narrations which didn’t serve the story (more in nonfiction, interestingly).
 
Christopher
Inaccuracy with accents always puts me off regardless of the subject matter.
 
23.   How often are you asked or expected to provide foreign accents, and how often do you practice those?
 
Leah
I take on projects that specifically don’t ask me for many accents beyond a few of the ones in my repertoire. Ask me to do an accent on the fly, or on a stage? Not too shabby! Ask me to read it from text for a book? Fail. I don’t understand it.
 
Steve
It happens less often than I’d like because, as I mentioned, I love doing them. I kind of walk around the house doing accents for myself—just saying things that come into my head in this or that voice or accent. I think a lot of entertainers do that, just to entertain themselves. In the case of an accent I have to learn, it’s a couple of days to get it into the system. Once you “feel” it, then it becomes part of what you do, and it’s added to the collection of speakers accompanying you around the house.
 
Christopher
I have several foreign accents in my vocal kitbag but I only practice them if they are needed.
 
24.   Does it ever bother you that, unlike many actors, most people will never see your face or know your name (unless, you know, you become KING of AUDIOBOOKS)?
 
Steve
I guess it does bother me, because I continue to pursue an on-camera career. But, frankly, audiobooks are now so popular, people will listen to anything a given narrator does simply because they like the way he/she narrates (to which I can relate, since I have favorite narrators, too). And everything is now a niche market—we don’t all go see the same blockbuster movies and follow the same universe of stars anymore. So, while it doesn’t happen nearly as often now that everybody knows your name, it’s not so uncommon to develop a certain following.
 
Leah
Nope. But! I’m also an actor, so.
 
Christopher
I am grateful that the listener cannot see me. I enjoy the anonymity and strongly hope that my voice does not get in the way of the listener. The book is all that matters.
 
25.   Are you really just in it for the groupies?
 
Steve
How did you know?
 
Leah
We get groupies?
 
Christopher
I am in it, not in it for the groupies, just a decent bottle of red wine.
 
26.   Unrelated question: you all have experience with swords – stage combat, Aikido, Dungeons & Dragons, etc. Do you have a favorite or dream sword? Why?
 
Steve
I’m trained in both stage combat and Aikido. When I was doing combat a lot, we used these beautiful rapiers crafted by a guy out in Colorado. Deceptively light—they didn’t need to cut anything but had to be sturdy enough to smack against other swords—with these gorgeous, basket hilts and outsized pommels. Just a pleasure to hold and swing around. More recently, and sort of at the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve been using Japanese katana—“Samurai swords”, as most folks would call them, though they’re modern and never met a samurai. Good God, are those things sharp. I’ve practiced tameshigiri with them—“test cutting” of rolled up tatami mats. Beautiful swords, but lethal. I’d love to have an authentic samurai sword.
 
Christopher
At drama school I trained in combat both armed and unarmed. My acting career has largely been based in classical theatre and so have had to swash and buckle on many occasions. I have also had the opportunity to work with some excellent fight choreographers. I love it! My favourite weapon is and always will be a medieval broadsword.
 
Leah
Ulfbehrt. Had to do a report on swords when I was doing stage combat, and this guy? Was a blade of beauty. Give me that over a katana during the zombie apocalypse any day. Sorry, Michonne.